The 5 Neurodivergent Love Languages: Redefining How We Give and Receive Care

Love is often spoken about through the classic “5 love languages” — words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and physical touch. But for many neurodivergent people (those with ADHD, autism, dyslexia, and other neurological differences), affection doesn’t always fit neatly into those boxes. Their ways of expressing care are just as valid, but beautifully unique.

Neurodivergent Love Languages, the concept has resonated widely in communities where connection often looks different. These love languages celebrate the authentic ways neurodivergent people show love — with creativity, intensity, and thoughtfulness.

Here are the 5 Neurodivergent Love Languages, explained:

1. Parallel Play / Body Doubling

For many neurodivergent folks, simply being in the same room as someone they care about is deeply comforting. Parallel play means doing different things side by side — like reading while your partner draws, or working on separate projects together. Body doubling, on the other hand, provides focus and motivation by having someone nearby while you work.

 It’s their way of saying, “I love being near you, even if we’re not doing the same thing.”

2. Info-Dumping

When someone “info-dumps,” they share everything about their favorite topic, hobby, or special interest in vivid detail. While it may seem overwhelming to some, it’s actually an expression of trust and excitement. By listening, engaging, and appreciating their enthusiasm, you affirm their joy and show that what matters to them matters to you.

It’s their way of saying, “I want to let you into my world.”

3. Penguin Pebbling

Inspired by penguins who offer pebbles as gifts, this love language is all about small, thoughtful tokens. A meme, a trinket, or even a snack becomes a symbol of affection — a gentle reminder of “You were on my mind.”

 It’s less about the object itself and more about the thought behind it.

4. Spoon Swapping (Support Swapping)

Based on “Spoon Theory,” which explains that daily tasks use up limited energy (or “spoons”), this love language is about trading tasks depending on who has more energy. Partners or friends support each other by easing one another’s burdens.

It’s love expressed through teamwork and practical care.

5. Deep Pressure

Some neurodivergent people find grounding and comfort through strong, safe physical pressure — like tight hugs, massages, or cuddling under weighted blankets. This sensory input creates calm and security, turning physical presence into reassurance.

 It’s love literally felt through the body, as a soothing sensory experience.

Why These Love Languages Matter

Neurodivergent love languages remind us that there is no “one-size-fits-all” way to love. They validate unique needs, preferences, and expressions of care that often go unrecognized. For some, love is in the quiet presence of parallel play. For others, it’s in excitedly sharing every detail about dinosaurs, outer space, or art.

When we honour these forms of connection, we not only support neurodivergent people better, but we also expand our own understanding of what love can look like. After all, love at its core is about making someone feel seen, safe, and cherished.

 My Take:In many ways, neurodivergent love languages are universal — haven’t we all felt loved when someone brought us our favourite snack, sat with us in silence, or took over a task when we were drained? These expressions of care remind us that love isn’t always grand or dramatic. Sometimes, it’s in the little things — a pebble, a spoon, a hug — that speak the loudest.

 So, which of these neurodivergent love languages speaks most to you?